To Debt and Beyond!

I've talked a little bit about our debt in the past.  One of the main reasons we moved in with the grandparents was to reduce our debt. 
We have definitely done that.  We are down to just a few things.

• Car payment
• 1 credit card
• Some over draft fee's
• 401K loan from my wedding ring

Our goal is to use our tax return to pay almost all of that off.  In just about a year we have virtually wiped out the debt.  Next up we are hoping to get into a ton of debt.  Crazy you may say, and I almost agree with you.
We are hoping to buy a house.  Wait, wait, wait...we need to buy a house.  We can only stay where we are so much longer.  We have worked really hard and I think we deserve to have our own space.  Renting is just so outrageously expensive here.  We are going to buy something somewhere between 1.5-3 hours away.

Buying a house is a huge step.  Its complex, and the information is so confusing.  Here's to hoping we are in our own place in the spring.

Are you a home owner? How was the buying experience?  I'd love to hear about it!
   

The unfocused perfectionist.

The title says it all.  I'm feeling, well...unfocused.  I am going to 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby this Monday.  I've done a small amount of writing her since we got pregnant, but much of it has gone unpublished.  If I try to play catch up here, it will end up in another unpublished post.  That's mostly because I'm somewhat of a perfectionist.

I've been working on my placenta encapsulation certification.  I started in back in February or, maybe  March.  It's been slow going.  The first paper took me several hours.  I wanted to get it just right, and I hadn't written a paper in YEARS.  I was rusty.  The second one went a little faster.  Then I got pregnant.  We found out we were expecting right before the peanuts 2nd birthday.  Then I felt miserable...for months.  Nothing whatsoever got done in that time period.  I even got my first placenta the day before the peanuts birthday.  Do you know where it is right now?  In my freezer.  That's right, I've have a frozen placenta in my freezer since June.  My goal is to have the placenta done by the end of the year.  I also had  the goal of finishing the last of the 5 papers done by the end of November.  I think that brings us to today.  Bubbie watched the peanut, so I could work on paper four.  I read some but I didnt get any writing done.  It takes me forever to get into my groove.  Normally by the time that rolls around, my time is over.  Ugh.  Well, I never even got close today.  I have other things on my mind...

Baby.  This baby is constantly in my ribs on the right side.  I'm nowhere near as big as I was with the peanut, and at the 20 weeks scan baby was breech.  We just had a prenatal visit on Tuesday.  The midwife thought baby was head down, but posterior.  I just instinctively feel like baby is not in the optimal position.  It's really starting to bother me.  I'm starting to think about worst case scenarios.    I've been starting to look at spinning babies. I've done 2 of the techniques today, and I think she may be moving around a little more. We'll see I guess.  I'm definitely getting a little obsessive about it.  The midwife talked about doing an ultrasound at the next appointment which will be at 33 weeks.  I'm kind of undecided as to whether or not I like that idea.  I'd like to go to a chiropractor, but I'm not sure we can afford that.  And speaking of finances...

We are closer than ever to paying off all the debt!  I think all we have left is my car, and two or three other things.  90% of what is left will be payed off when we get our taxes back.  It's so nice to have the money come in and not have it already all be spoken for.  We have even managed to keep a very small amount of money in our savings account for the last couple of weeks.  We are getting closer, and closer to our goal of owning a home of our very own.  I can't wait to be in our own space.  I hope its soon.  My mister has been working hard on raising his credit score, and we payed all his debt first.  I probably won't be on the house for a while, as I have no income and a less than stellar credit score.  I got him some books about buying homes at the library today while I was supposed to be working on my paper. 

I guess that's all for now, maybe I should go work on my paper...

the aha moment

We have been living with my grandparents since about new years.  There have been many ups and downs.  I appreciate all the help they have given us during our stay, and we have done much that we set out to do. We have greatly reduced our debt.  To the tune that we are negative $50+ dollars in our bank account right now, but once get get positive again (next Wednesday) we can cross another creditor off our list.  Yay!!

We had planned to finish the basement apartment below my grandparents house.  However, in the close to 9 months we have been her so much has changed.  My husbands uncle died in early March, and a couple weeks later my grandma got diagnosed with lung cancer.  My grandma. My rock. My everything for so long.  Cancer.  She did radiation, and some chemo.  The tumor has shrunk.  We are waiting to hear if the chemo killed it or if it just shrunk it.  You'd never know she was/is sick.  She continued doing everything she did before.  She is incredible.

Well somewhere along the way the Mister and I decided we didn't want to live here indefinitely.  We can't do some of the things we thought we could. Things that are very important to us. Garden organically.  Cloth diaper.  Live without being told everything we do/think is wrong. 

My grandfather decided that he didn't want to build the apartment either with all the things that are going on, and I understand and respect that.  Plus it got me out of telling him we dont want to live in it anyway.  Score. 

Before we moved up here almost everyone in my family told us it was a bad idea.  They were right and I admit it.  My brother lived up her for two years before we moved in, and I can see the same ugly pattern emerging with our stay.  Nothing is good enough for grandpa.  Nothing.  I can do something the same way twice, and just because its right the first time doesn't guarantee it will be the second time.

But I've had an epiphany.  I don't have to try to please him.  It feels so good to say that, and boy does it take off the pressure.  I don't need or want his approval.  Up until this point, I wanted that so very much.

I am just going to attempt to do my best, and not let him get under my skin until we move out.  When will that be?  Where will that be?  I can't say right now.  But I'm just going to put one foot in front of the other, and know we will get there eventually.  

Not pregnant

The test this morning was negative.  My Bbt was still up so I know I'm not going to start bleeding today, but uh.  I feel so hollow in my chest.  It aches.  I feel like I lost a baby.  I just feel like the world is spinning around me.  I feel sick.  Then there is this tiny glimmer of me hoping the test will be wrong, and I am pregnant.  I think we need to really start our paleo diet.  I want to start trying to run.  I want all the thoughts in my head to stop.  Conflicting things.  We want a house, we need to make more money.  I want to start meditating.  Trying to breathe here.  I just want to run away.  This makes me question what I want to do with my life.  I think of everything in catastrophic ways.  What if I can't get pregnant, ever.  Sometimes I just want to jump out of my skin.  I feel so guilty. 

For now my goal will be simply to put one foot in front of the other. 

Pregnancy?

Okay...so its been quite some time since I posted here.  There has been a lot of stuff going on since the last post in the end of March.  I didn't do all the things I set out to in that post.  I got my period in April (on my birthday).  So this month I got the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  Somewhat of a birthday present.  Ha Ha!  I started taking my Basal Body Temperature, and I got an ovulation prediction kit.  So we definitely did the baby dance on all the right days.  Enter the 2 week wait.  My period is due to arrive this Thursday May 24th. 

Now, I've had a good feeling about this month.  I've had a small amount of nausea.  It comes and goes, but haven't felt any in the past few days.  I've  been craving guacamole and blue cheese.  Then I drop of the peanut with my dad and step-mom on Saturday night, and almost before I get in her door she asks if I'm pregnant.  So I tell her about how I don't know yet, but have a good feeling about this month.  She tells me she thinks I am and it's a girl!  Then later that night my mom asks me if I've been "feeling" anything.  Yesterday my friend who knows we have been trying asks me how its going.  It's all too much for me.  I decide I can't wait any longer to test.  I tell my friend and my step-mom I'm going to test in the morning.  I'll let them know how it goes.

So, I go to the store.  Get the least expensive box, with 3 tests!  Are you guessing where I'm going with this?  Cheaper in not better in some situations, and this may be one of them.  I decide the test as soon as I get home.  I mean I have 3 test, right?!  Oh, man.  At first it looks like its negative.  Then I noticed a super faint pink line!!  I think, yay!!!!! I'm pregnant.  I'm excited,  in a good mood, don't feel tired at all because, I'M PREGNANT!!  I assume the faint line is because I tested at night.  I'll get the nice dark line in the morning.      

7am:  I can't wait anymore I want that dark sure positive.  I take the stick and dip it in my pee.  It looks negative.  Uh.  Wait, wait!  It look just like the one last night...I guess only time will tell.

I tried to upload a picture of the tests, but the lines don't even show up on the picture.  Oh well.

Anyone else have a super light positive turn into a baby?  I'd love to hear about it! 

The Pregnancy Plan

Conceiving the peanut was easy.  The first month we "tried" we got the BFP.  My cycle was so regular then.  It was like clockwork, so when I woke up and didn't have my period, I just knew. 

This time it's WAY different.  My cycles aren't as regular.  They are averaging 31 days.  I have been under a lot of stress.  I know I'm thinking about it way too much.  Part of that is just my personality, but I know I need to tone it down. Stress can totally mess with your cycle. I had an IUD in for close to a year, and had it removed in July of last year.  I keep thinking that has something to do with this.    


So this is the plan for this month:

Wean off coffee, sugar, processed carbs.

Drink green tea in the am and raspberry leaf tea in the pm.

Continue with the ACV with honey.

Vitex elixir 2-3 times a day until ovulation, which I think will be April 9th.  I'm going to take it until the 12th, because that is the latest date I got I might ovulate based on one of the million calendars I used.

Take B6 morning and evening, and a time released b-complex in the morning.

I'm going to really focus on relaxing, and am going to make a effort to get 9ish hours of sleep on most nights.  I'm going to take naps on the days I don't need to be anywhere.

I'm going to check my cervical mucus everyday.  Not sure when the best time to do that is...Google here I come!  First thing in the morning according to Babycenter.

Drink lots of water, and get out of the house for a good walk everyday barring any rain.  Its supposed to rain all week here.  

 Just did a little reading about macca powder and I might try that as well. 

Mostly, I think I just need to have fun with the Mister!  ;)

Baby Dust to all that need!!

Paleo Dinner 2/27/12

We are trying something new.  Paleo. Don't know what that means?  Essentially you only eat meat, veggies, fruit, seeds and nuts.  I'm doing some reading on in and how to blog more when I know more about what I'm talking about!  Tonight for dinner I made ground turkey and a bunch of veggies. 
Here are the veggies I used:

First I sauteed The onions and the bell peppers in coconut oil

Then I added the zucchini

Lastly I added the mushrooms

At this point I added maybe a tsp of salt ans some fresh ground black pepper.  I didn't measure any of the veggies.  It was just what I had laying around.  

Once everything got soft and the onions were translucent I cooked the package of turkey in a smaller skillet.  I seasoned it with

• red pepper flakes
• garlic powder
• onion powder
• cumin
• Italian seasoning
• a mortons salt blend

I just did all those to taste.  I never measure.  I added the turkey to the veggies, and turned it on low while I made my green bean side dish.  I also added fresh garlic at this point.  We love garlic.  A lot.

On to the green beans...I sauteed them in Coconut Oil for a few minutes.  Then I added some soy sauce, sesame seeds, mirin and cooking sake.  Then I added everyone's favorite....Sriracha aka Rooster Sauce.  I let it all reduce until it got nice and thick.  SOOO good.

I know some of the ingredients are not in the least bit paleo.  Its a work in progress.  This was the first time Ive cooked turkey in close to a year.

Paleo breakfast

My first attempt.  Sauteed shrooms.  Omelet with spinach, onion, bell pepper
Everything sauteed in bacon grease or coconut oil. Bacon for me, Ham steak for the Mister. Topped with avocado and salsa. Mmmhmm.

Mamatography: Week 7 2/8-2/14

I'm behind...again.  We had some friend over when I normally do this last week.  I'm going to make this one quick.

This is her first milkshake.  She was being very...spirited on this lunch outing with great grandma.

This was out super quick IKEA trip.  We got the peanut a potty.  She picked this outfit out herself.  

Reading before bed.

Funny fortunes in the cookies.  

 Sharing Ice Cream with daddy.

Celebrating GREAT GREAT Grandma's 100th Birthday!!!!!!

Patience is a virtue I do not posses.

Mister and I really were trying hard to conceive this month. I have really been feeling pregnant. For a week or so my breasts were very tender when peanut was nursing. Then that stopped. My nose has been very keen in the past week or so. I've been a bit emotional. Tiny bits of nausea, and heart burn.

My cycles has been approximately 30 days. My period is due to arrive this Sunday. I want to know NOW. So, I take the babies and walk to the store just to look at the tests. I see one on sale that says early results! 6 days before missed cycle. I buy it. I take the babies to the park, and all the while I just want to go home and pee on the stick. Finally it's time to go home and I really have to pee. This is good.

We get home. I pee on said stick. I replace cap. I lay stick down. I wait. I look.

I get disappointed. I might still be pregnant, but it's unlikely. This is only the second month of TTC, but it was so easy with peanut. My SIL, a friend of mine, and I all had babies less than a year apart. All girls. Peanut is the oldest. Both the other moms are pregnant again. I guess this time it will be in reverse order. (the last of us to give birth, was the first pregnant)
Honestly, I feel jealous. I want to be pregnant, too! I LOVED being pregnant, and am really looking forward to it in a whole new way. I know so much more, am so much better informed.

So many things are running through my head. Am I going to be able to get pregnant? Does this have something to do with the mirena I had for a year? But on the other hand, it's only been a couple months. It will happen when the time is right. I should just continue to work on myself. My health, my family, hammering away at our debt.

And I can always retest on Sunday or Monday.

Care to share you story of fertility woes. no matter how big or small...it's always nice yo know you aren't alone, right?

Mamatography: Week 6 2/1-2/7

This is week 6 of the Mamatography challenge from Luschka at Diary of a First Child.




Here is my week 5 Mamatography.


This has been quite eventful week here.  I'm glad it has been well documented with photographs.

I think I posted the picture I took on the 1st last week, so I'm starting with Thursday February 2nd.  Little Boss smacked the peanut in the face with a plastic bucket on Thursday.  This was the first time my baby has bled from THIS kind of injury.  Once she bumped her face on a chair arm, but that just doesn't compare to this.  I've never heard my peanut scream like this.  I had to call my mom.  She just happened to be staying home from work, and she lives only a few minutes away.  She came to my rescue.  Now that it's been almost a week the cut is almost completely healed, and the bruising is s l o w l y going away.

Poor Little Peanut.  :(

This was Friday.  After the Chiropractor, and before Books and Babies.  We found a new park that had sand in it.  I think that's fairly rare these days...

Saturday- We took a walk down to feed the horse a carrot.  The horse wasn't outside so we got a special treat to see them in the barn.  Peanut still isn't so sure about horses.

Peanut got some weird rash all over the torso and her back.  I called the doctor's office and they told me to put hyrdocortisone on it!  That didn't fly with this Mama.  I did give her a single dose of Benadryl because when I called back to talk to a more competent nurse she said if it was an allergic reaction to something it would go away.  I used it mostly for diagnostic purposes.  The rash didn't go away with Benadryl, but it was gone Monday morning.  Thank goodness.  

Monday- Playing around with a mask at the little boss' house.

Tuesday was the our two year wedding anniversary.  We took the peanut the Exploratorium in San Francisco.  Then we had lunch at a restaurant my old roommate works at in the city.  We got to have dinner alone at a fancy restaurant we have been wanting to try for quite some time.  It was sooo nice.  We had a real adult conversation.  There was no talk of the peanut, and I only brought up placenta a few times.  Very refreshing.  I actually felt rejuvenated for work today.  Mister and I havent had a whole day off together since we moved.

This was a bubble experiment.

Clearly we are ocean people.  :)

Here is to a less eventful week this next week!!

It happened.  Finally.

I got the first cold I've had in a looong time.  I think it's the first one I haven't been able to combat in the early stages since I was pregnant!

I haven't been pregnant in 20 months. 

Truth be told, I haven't really been taking as good care of myself as I ought to.  When I got my period this month I was pretty disappointed.   Things have kind of spiraled out of control from there.  Mister and I have been fighting a little bit.  I have been consuming WAY too much coffee and chocolate.  Then we ventured into San Francisco for one of my best friends birthday last Saturday night.  That's what did it, I'm sure.  SF is a good hour away from us up here in the forest.  I had more than a couple drink.  I mean, I might as well I'm not pregnant, right?  And after dropping off my brother at his warehome...we got in at 3am.  I know, that's shit aint right.  We are getting old!  Relatively speaking, of course. 

Sunday when we got up I thought I was just hung over.  Nope.  I was getting sick.  Bubbie and Papa just moved,  so peanut and I went to help them settle on Sunday.  On the way home we stopped by whole foods, and picked up some elderberry syrup.  This was my first time buying it.  I dont know if I got a "good" one or not.  So these are the things I did to try to kick this colds ass ASAP:

• Taking the Elderberry Syrup twice a day/2 tsp
• Taking Oil of Oregano capsules 2-3 times a day
• Drinking copious amounts of tea.
• Drinking Raw Apple Cider Vinegar in hot water
• Eating raw garlic
• Juicing

I'm still in the very beginning when it comes to homeopathic and natural remedies.    I'm learning. I felt a little confused as to whether I could do some of those things while nursing.  It's so confusing!  I've been reading conflicting information.

I found this post from a gluten-free vegan mom who knows very helpful. 

I'm hoping at some point in time to take some herbalist courses.  It's part of my Mommy Metamorphosis!  Now that it's Thursday, I'm starting to feel much better. 

So tell me, do you go the natural route for healing?  What has your journey looked like? 

Mamatography: Week 5 1/25-1/31

This is the fifth week of the year long Mamatography challenge put on by Luschka of diary of a first child.  I have a confession.  I'm doing terribly with this challenge!  I need to challenge myself to do a better job with this project next week...

 

This is the peanut searching for the perfect rock.  This is a big decision, and we are here for at least a half hour.  This chicky loves rocks!

This a dragon puppet I made with the last roommate I had before I moved in with the mister.  She sent me this picture.  Aaahhh, memories!  

Peanut and Bubbie walking to the car.  I think there was promise of a rock in her car.  Have I mentioned we love rocks?!

It was really foggy.  It's not normal in this area.  I thought it warranted a picture.

Peanut coloring with her crayons she got for Christmas.  I just love her hair in this picture...and her shirt.  I got this shirt when I was pregnant.  I loved it so much I said I'd put it on a boy or girl.  

Mister being so cute.  Making sure blankie stays safe on the playground.  

Its hard to tell, but this is peanut taking a nap on bubbie's bed.  She is being guarded by her cats, Goose and Maverick. 

Mamatography: Week 4 1/18-1/24

So, here we are at week four of Luschka from Diary of a First Child's Mamatography challenge.  I've been having kind of a rough few days.  So I'm just going to post the pictures with a little caption.  I did take a picture everyday, but I don't remember which one if from what day.  You can take a look at the post from last week here.  I didn't link up last week...

Here goes...

This is Seitan Piccata with Olives and Green Beans from Veganomicon.  We aren't real vegans, but I cook mainly vegetarian with lots of vegan stuff too.  This is one of my favorite meals...

This is the peanut helping sweep the kitchen floor.  She loves to help clean.  She didn't get this trait from either of her parents.

This is the peanut's blankie, and the little boss' bear.  We don't leave home without them.

Got this at Costco on Friday!  It's SOOOO much easier to juice that "adult" kale.  Planning to also make some "chips" out of it too.

These are the first eggplants I ever cooked.  I made Tomato and Roasted Eggplant Stew with Chickpeas another super meal from Veganomicon.  I started the stew on Sunday and finished it on Monday night.  Here is the finished product.

 This was on Saturday.  We had to go to babies r us to get her a new booster seat.  Its plastic.  Not crunchy at all.  I guess I should have looked into a greener alternative.  That would have kept me out of hell babies r us.  This is some little tricycle she found.

She was helping me cook.

Mamatography: Week 3 1/11-1/17

This my 3rd week participating in Diary of a First Child's mamatography.  I am really late this week...

January 11-  Hazards of co-sleeping...
This is the Mister with the peanut's blankie!

  January12- The Peanut walking with Great Grandma at the park.

January 13-This is the peanut searching for rocks.  We did this at every tree. 

  January 14- Helping the bubbie reduce the clutter in her closet.  These bags went to the goodwill.

January 15- Burning a copy of "Babywise" I got at a used book sale!

January 16- It has been really cold here.  This is cold for California at least...

January 17- Reading "Everyone Poops"

The Jan Plan

This is a list of things that I really need  to accomplish.  Does anyone care that I have all these silly little things I need to do?  Probably not.  But I'm hoping this will be some sort of accountability for me. 

Fix Milo--I'm working on this.  I just took him to get his first shots, and need to call to make his surgery appt. tomorrow.

Organize closet and pantry--I've been slowly working on this, and I can see the progress.

Return cable equipment--This one is a toughy.  I guess there is ALWAYS a crazy long line at the comcast place...

Finish a book!--I read so many pieces of books.  Never one cover to cover.  Well, I'm not including books I read to the peanut.  I want to read an adult book.  I'm going to try The Natural Pregnancy Book.

Start a meditation/ relaxation routine--I need to do some research on this stuff.  It has been said by more than one that I'm wound like an 8 day clock.  And I feel like it sometimes...
 
Exercise--Hoping it will help me feel better about myself, and ease some of the anxiety I feel.  All the activites below are ones I've done in the past and really enjoyed.
•yoga
•pilates
•hiking

Write up birth story--because it needs to be done.  I'm hoping writing about it will be therapeutic.  I'm also hoping it will be one of the many way I can get myself in shape so to speak for the next birth.


Do you ever use To Do lists to help you accomplish the things you want to?

Mamatography: Week 2 1/4-1/10

So, this doesn't really have anything to do with this project per-say but, sheesh!  I had a very hand time doing this!  Getting the badge on the page, and the pictures to go with the correct text.  I REALLY want it to be centered, but I just feel lucky its there at all.  I need to become much for computer/blogger savvy this year.  Enjoy the pictures.  :)


1/4-This is leftover chipotle black bean pumpkin soup. It was so good. Dare I say better that the day I made it? I dare! I actually wrote a post when I made it, here.

1/5-Books I received in the mail today! I got 15 books used on Amazon for less than $100. I used gift cards from the holidays.

 

1/6-I forgot to take pictures!! I should have taken a picture of my bed, because that's where I wish I was from about 5:30pm on...

 

1/7- Peanut sitting on "lawn ornament" in the front yard after a nice walk through the neighborhood, and walking with the rocks we have collected along the way.

 

1/8- Sunday dinner. We do this every Sunday. Now that we are living with the grandparent, I helped grandpa make his stew. Definitely something that was on my bucket list. I really enjoy cooking with him.

1/9- This is spinach on a wall. My little friend (the boy I nanny for) throws his food behind him when he is "all done"

1/10- I took this because my mom and her fiancé are looking for a new apartment. She found one. Not this one, but she found one.