The test this morning was negative. My Bbt was still up so I know I'm not going to start bleeding today, but uh. I feel so hollow in my chest. It aches. I feel like I lost a baby. I just feel like the world is spinning around me. I feel sick. Then there is this tiny glimmer of me hoping the test will be wrong, and I am pregnant. I think we need to really start our paleo diet. I want to start trying to run. I want all the thoughts in my head to stop. Conflicting things. We want a house, we need to make more money. I want to start meditating. Trying to breathe here. I just want to run away. This makes me question what I want to do with my life. I think of everything in catastrophic ways. What if I can't get pregnant, ever. Sometimes I just want to jump out of my skin. I feel so guilty.
For now my goal will be simply to put one foot in front of the other.
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